The Internet Has Ruined Sex for Everybody, and Here’s Why

Let’s begin with the basic understanding that most men are like five-year-olds with shiny, red fire trucks. They want girls to play with those fire trucks, but they’re constantly worried that girls have played with bigger, better, shinier fire trucks. This makes those five-year-olds indignant.

Some of them decide to excel in other areas of life. Some of them are always going to remain insecure and petty. Some of them will just get over it, and enjoy the beauty of life. Some of those five-year-olds are the ones with great, big, super-shiny fire trucks, and they think that every girl is lucky to get to play with that truck, and no matter how the boy wants to play, the girl will love it because it’s the biggest, baddest truck in town, but that’s far from true.

Sure, some of the girls like big trucks that can barely fit in their garage, but most girls aren’t just a garage, are they? Here’s my take on how the internet has ruined sex for everyone.

Because a lot of men want to please their partners, they invest time and money in online courses, which teach them how to make that pussy purr. Sure, it’s important to know where a clit is, and how to stimulate the various components of the vagina machine, but there’s no need to comprehend the inner workings of this holy beast to the extent of a gynecologist.

If you were expecting to read an article masquerading as a how to manual, you’re shit out of luck. In fact, it’s those articles and courses…