First a bunch of fluff about nothing. We all know friends are important. We also know that we shouldn’t build friendships with people just to ask for favors…right? You know that…right? Because this article suggests otherwise.

Then, the article tells us not to expect to build an instant intimate connection. That’s the first step to building an instant intimate connection? If I’m to immediately assume that someone won’t be my friend, why am I even bothering trying to build this connection? So that I can ask for a favor when I need one? Really?

Step 2 is to make eye contact and smile. Really? How else do people approach one another? Eyes closed with a grimace of pain? Then, I’m supposed to leer at this person like a stalker weirdo and ask them about what they’re doing?

“So…drinking that coffee, huh?” Yeah. This will build a real intimate connection with a stranger.

After that, I’m supposed to get super personal with this stranger without small talk. Why would a stranger reveal anything personal? Besides, I thought the title was: How to Instantly Create Intimacy. Judging by what I read, the article is not teaching me how to do something impossible.

Fail.